Parenting

Even though it might seem hard: yes, you made mistakes. We all do. Someone can read your OP and righteously say: here's where you went wrong. But no. You didn't go wrong. You made mistakes. We all do. Am I repeating myself?

All any of us can ever do is do our best. It's all we have. We are ourselves the products of imperfect parenting. I gather you have been a single mom, which probably feeds into your guilt and anxiety. Pffft! Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad or less a mom because you were a single mom.

When I was 14 years old my mother worked up the amazing courage to leave her abusive alcoholic husband and drive the five kids still at home (oldest brother was off in the army by then) and move us from northern New York State to Tucson, Arizona to start a new life. It was not until many years later when I had two small children and was inside a pretty good marriage that I fully understood how much courage that must have taken. And even before that understanding, I always knew that she had done the very best thing for us. So I grew up partially in a single parent home, and I can tell you it was quite good. Yeah, it wasn't perfect, but no family or home ever is. All any of us can ever do is the best we can.

I truly feel for you, because while the specifics of your circumstances are different from mine, I get it. I've been there, pretty much. I want to hold out the hope that it will get better. Hang in there.

And here's something else. Don't forget yourself. You are at a point where you need to start pulling back in, returning to yourself, doing things that matter to you. Maybe pursuing a better career can happen. Maybe not. But as he leaves home please, please focus on you.