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Religion

Cartoonist

(7,579 posts) Fri Apr 5, 2019, 06:56 PM Apr 2019

2 Kings chapter 2 [View all]

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on the way, some little boys came out of the city and jeered at him: “Go away, baldy; go away, baldy!”

The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the children to pieces.
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And people revere this book?

35 replies

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2 Kings chapter 2 [View all] Cartoonist Apr 2019 OP

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2019 #1

Which is it then? Cartoonist Apr 2019 #3

It's whatever you want it to be. The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2019 #4

That's the problem Cartoonist Apr 2019 #6

Oh, I don't know. Everybody likes to make fun of Leviticus. The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2019 #20

Well, in one case Lordquinton Apr 2019 #5

I never quite understood that story. The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2019 #7

Maybe Elisha... uriel1972 Apr 2019 #8

It said the bears tore into 42 *of* the children, which suggests there were more than 42. The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2019 #18

42 children Lordquinton Apr 2019 #9

I don't think they ate them Cartoonist Apr 2019 #10

That makes more sense. Lordquinton Apr 2019 #11

These were superbears Cartoonist Apr 2019 #12

They weren't forebears Lordquinton Apr 2019 #15

And they were she-bears. The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2019 #17

I can't bear it anymore Lordquinton Apr 2019 #22

One was the Queen of Shebear Voltaire2 Apr 2019 #27

I didn't know bears were organized in a monarchy Lordquinton Apr 2019 #35

Smarter than the average bear? Pope George Ringo II Apr 2019 #16

"With God, all things are possible." - Jesus. nt. Mariana Apr 2019 #14

There's only one species of bear that's native to the Middle East, The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2019 #13

Old Yahweh put the magic in them. Voltaire2 Apr 2019 #24

Maybe they were the last local descendants of the grizzlies from the Ark? Pope George Ringo II Apr 2019 #29

In that area there are only Syrian brown bears, which are relatively small as bears go. The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2019 #19

It's like every depiction of dinosaurs being T-rexes Lordquinton Apr 2019 #23

Maybe just the bald christians! justhanginon Apr 2019 #2

Elisha was an Old Testament dude, so not Christian. The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2019 #21

Same god. Voltaire2 Apr 2019 #25

Well, yeah, but just because Elisha told God to set bears on the children The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2019 #30

You seem to be claiming that we have to apply Voltaire2 Apr 2019 #32

Not at all, I'm just making jokes. The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2019 #33

It's also a safe bet all the other miracles Elisha performed were just made up as well Major Nikon Apr 2019 #34

Too bad Elisha didn't have a combover like T-rump Sanity Claws Apr 2019 #26

My favorite Bible story of all! MineralMan Apr 2019 #28

Bethel? edhopper Apr 2019 #31