My mother has spent years poisoning everyone's mind against me and excluding me from the family. Most of the time, rather than fight publicly, I have just stayed away. I think many of my relatives see through it anyway. She is either mentally ill, or has a personality disorder.
I organized everyone in my family back in April. We went to see my dad. My husband and I brought my middle brother, who could not drive at the time. Two of my three children and my daughter-in-law were there. My dad did not recognize anyone, but we all got there to spend some time with both of them. It was the last visit. My mom shrugged it off, even though it took some work to organize. We all live some distance away, and most of us work. All she said was, "That was nice." She did not say even that much until I called her some weeks later.
Lately, she has spent some time calling everyone and praising my youngest brother to the skies, because he flew in from San Francisco and spent a couple of days there. I'm tired of hearing how wonderful he is. He has done less than anyone in the family to be helpful. Part of the reason he lives so far away is to separate himself from the sick behavior and the drama.
I did want to help in some way. She called friends and family members, but not me. In fact, I called an old friend of theirs who lives close to me. She had called him, and so had my brother. I was not included in anything, even the calling. In fact, she did not ask my husband or son directly to be pall bearers. She had my brother call me, and I asked them.
I try not to be hurt by her hateful behavior and all the lies she has told other family members about me. And I do mean hateful! She gets on the phone and tells outrageous lies about me to extended family members. I usually ignore it. I find out about it through my middle brother, because he defends me. He is more bitter and angry with her than I am. Usually, I am resigned to it. I can change me, but not her.
I'm sorry. Maybe I should not be sharing so much.
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