Covid death of a close family member? [View all]

It's been almost a year since we called an ambulance because my dad fell. The hospital sent him to rehab and he died 14 days later from covid contracted from an infected man laying next to him. I am still having intense feelings of hate, grief, and guilt.

Hate of trump for purposely not warning and the state and rehab facility for not protecting him.

Grief of a loved one who did not deserve to die that way. Sorrow for my mom who didn't get to hold her husband's hand in death. They were married 71 years.

Guilt for agreeing to sending him there. I live a thousand miles away and I usually let my sisters who live close by make decisions. But when they told me I looked it up and saw that there were covid cases in nursing homes. I didn't say anything.

I wonder if anyone else is going through the same thing? It's such a toxic combination of emotion that doesn't seem to fit any bereavement advice I have seen.