2016 Postmortem

"They fear strangers for the same reason, loss of support."

When I retired here, for what seemed like ages people couldn't get over the idea that I'd just left my former spot in the Southwest and moved here lock, stock and barrel with no acquaintances or family or friends in place to receive me. It took me a long time to grasp that they really weren't kidding about something I simply took for granted. After all, I'd done as much financial and practical research as possible, and I've made my own decisions and taken care of myself most of my life. As an army brat and ex-wife of a career army officer, I fairly took it for granted that my behavior was normal.

Apparently that's not the case. I was supposed to wire ahead for permission or something, I think. When they asked me where I was from, I told them Planet Earth. (Very few found that amusing.) Well, where were you born? That makes no difference because we only stopped there in passing so Mom could pop me out and we left 5 days later, never to return. Then where did you live before? Lots of places, which would you like to hear about? L.A. or NYC or parts in between, not to mention overseas. Who are your relatives? Nobody you'd know - some you wouldn't want to know, haha! Not funny. Etc.

Point being, here's a stranger over whom we exercise absolutely no social control, therefore she represents (drum roll, please) DANGER! Gotta be a commie of some kind. That's the only explanation. And she's a Democrat - that proves it!

So in order to retain a shred of sanity in this place, I decided to treat the (mis?-)adventure as a social experiment. Only when the last dog dies will we know the outcome. I'm determined to survive and thrive here no matter who thinks I shouldn't. Every time I pacify one of them, even on the surface, I mark it up in my devious little mind as a victory. Although it's a tad surreal sitting in a Sunday School class with a bunch of other people, knowing from past shouting spells they've pitched at me that at least one or two would love to puncture my car tires some night if they weren't afraid I'd catch them at it. Well, and if I still kept a vehicle, which I don't because I don't need to. It's too much thriftier to hire a driver the rare times I need to go a long distance. Yada yada yada.

I can't even seem to learn to react appropriately. When somebody outright asked me at church if it's true I'm a commie, instead of a heated and doubtless false denial, I burst out laughing my head off. Well, Obama's one and you inflicted him on us with your vote, so you must be too.

Try arguing your way out of that, missy!

(Sorry, fellow DUers, without gallows humor I'd never make it. And there really are a few people here I MIGHT stop to pull out of a ditch on a clear day when I had nothing else better to do, if they asked me real nice and promised to vote Democrat the rest of their lives in gratitude. You can see I really don't ask for much.)