Gun Control Reform Activism

My ex was what some might consider a gun nut, almost completely ignorant about firearms. Because of my experience with him, I always believed that firearms training should be mandatory for all those seeking to own guns. Even folks who don't own guns should receive some instruction about firearm safety, because firearms are so prevalent in America.

My husband was an alcoholic who kept loaded guns in our "marital" home. As his drinking escalated, so did the threats with guns. One night, after an booze fueled altercation, I threated to called the police. He pulls one of his weapons -- a .357 Magnum -- from its "storage" place underneath our bed fully loaded, and tells me that he'll shoot any police officer who arrives at the house. Needless to say, I did not call law enforcement. One horrifying night, he was horsing around with his 9 mm handgun. By accident, he pulled a pin on the weapon and the entire thing came apart in pieces. I was inches from it and it gave me such a fright. It was one of those moments of insight about how little to no knowledge about personal firearms is profoundly dangerous. As the marriage deteriorated and his drinking escalated, I would find myself so distraught that I actually entertained the idea of finishing him off with one of his own guns. At least the terrible suspense would be over. We occasionally would go to the rifle range so I knew that out of all his weapons, the rifle and the Beretta, were the easiest for me to handle. (In addition to the 9mm, the .357 Magnum and the rifle, he also owned a Beretta.) Occasionally, when things got bad, I'd pack up the baby and leave. (I also joined Al-Anon which I believed helped to save my life in this situation.) I would never warn him when I'd leave, I'd just disappear, because of the fear that he would shoot me.

I eventually applied for and got a permit to purchase a handgun. It's not easy to do in New Jersey -- a state that has tough firearms ownership laws for legal weapons. I went through the firearms check and had to be interviewed by a detective. After I got the handgun permit I kept it for a while and then ripped it up. I didn't trust myself to own my own weapon it because of the ongoing volatile situation with my ex husband. Guns on top of guns wasn't the way to solve the problem.

I learned one other priceless lesson from our visits to the rifle range. The rifle range also had a retail section where firearms were sold. Each and every time a customer would ask to examine a gun, the salesmen would unlock the glass case and check the weapon to make certain there were no live rounds in the chamber. They did this each and every time. At first I wondered -- why check these guns repeatedly if they knew -- or assumed -- that they were not loaded? And then one day I got the answer from an article I read about gun safety and which, Sancho, you have imparted in your post: All guns are loaded. You can never assume anything about a firearm. Ever. The round in the chamber of a weapon has been the source of great tragedy.

Years after we divorced, my ex eventually drank himself to death. After not hearing from him for some time, his parents called the state police and requested they do a "safety" check on him. They found him deceased in the home he purchased in PA. I took solace that the state police likely confiscated his weapons.