General Discussion

Coventina

(28,559 posts) Sat Jul 19, 2025, 06:18 PM Jul 19

"Alpha Males" have officially lost the plot (Warning: Puke inducing) [View all]

I'm not going to provide any links, but a simple internet search will provide the backing for this post.

So, apparently it is "gay" now to wipe after pooping.
No man should touch his own....you know!!

Women are increasingly complaining about men who leave "skid marks" on sheets after intimate encounters, and men who just, um, stink in general.

The idea is that "real men" shouldn't need toilet paper because other animals don't use it in nature.
Needing to use toilet paper shows you have an "emasculated" GI tract. (What?!?!?!)

OK, I've had pets all my life and yes, generally there isn't a big problem "down there" but even my pets needed a little help once in a while.

WTF is wrong with these guys?

This is not a masculinity issue, it's a health and hygiene issue!

I need to go lie down and try to think happy thoughts for awhile......

86 replies

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Highlight:

"Alpha Males" have officially lost the plot (Warning: Puke inducing) [View all] Coventina Jul 19 OP

But if women don't want to sleep with them it's because they're [insert gendered insult of your choice here.] Scrivener7 Jul 19 #1

This message was self-deleted by its author PeaceWave Jul 20 #72

Saw TV ad last night: Dude Wipes Attilatheblond Jul 19 #2

My daughter uses those. Ms. Toad Jul 19 #19

Perhaps if we had more "natural" diets, there wouldn't be as many poop stains. Intractable Jul 19 #3

I'm thinking they should smoke and drink a lot too.. Permanut Jul 19 #4

But animals do clean themselves with their own tongues. Ocelot II Jul 20 #75

Alpha males are such delicate flowers. unblock Jul 19 #5

This message was self-deleted by its author PeaceWave Jul 20 #69

I made the mistake of googling this. Ocelot II Jul 19 #6

I know, right? Coventina Jul 19 #8

I always made it a point to shave and shower and brush teeth before a date, Jack Valentino Jul 19 #41

You weren't kidding about the EWWW thing! Ars Longa Jul 20 #76

I did after reading your post Renew Deal Jul 19 #35

I wonder if they even use toilets anymore - do they just squat anywhere outside? mdbl Jul 20 #74

So "alpha males" use a bidet instead? DBoon Jul 19 #7

Unfortunately, no. Coventina Jul 19 #9

They don't use anything. Ocelot II Jul 19 #11

But aren't alot of them into anal sex? -nt CrispyQ Jul 19 #30

They are obviously very insecure about their own masculinity.... Jack Valentino Jul 19 #42

I think it's partially a problem of obesity Metaphorical Jul 19 #10

Obesity has nothing to do with it, neither does their sense of smell. Ocelot II Jul 19 #15

Not The Onion??? tulipsandroses Jul 19 #12

I wish I could un-read this. flvegan Jul 19 #13

I'm so sorry. One of women who dumped (no pun intended) her poopy boyfriend Coventina Jul 19 #16

Oh no, MuseRider Jul 19 #28

So the reason some magats can't get laid, maybe more reasons besides their Jack Valentino Jul 19 #43

Human race is doomed angrychair Jul 19 #14

It's not just American alpha males. Ocelot II Jul 19 #17

I'm guessing this demo overlaps with people who are obsessed over seed oils in their food newdeal2 Jul 19 #18

I think it definitely overlaps with some MAGA... Jack Valentino Jul 19 #44

And carnivore diets NickB79 Jul 20 #61

Yes, I think I was thinking of paleo diets or whatever it is called now. All meat newdeal2 Jul 20 #65

If someone has to tell the world he's an alpha male... Dulcinea Jul 19 #20

They don't smell like butt, they smell like SHIT! Jack Valentino Jul 19 #45

This could be good for overpopulation fujiyamasan Jul 19 #21

Well at least you can lay on your bed without worrying about unfortunate stains EdmondDantes_ Jul 19 #22

Proctophobia? GaYellowDawg Jul 19 #23

I read about this recently and was going to post about it JI7 Jul 19 #24

Oh my! UpInArms Jul 19 #52

Real men don't worry a lot about what others' definition of a man is... Wounded Bear Jul 19 #25

Prostate orgasm nocoincidences Jul 19 #26

This sounds like the left's counter to the right's nonsense Ms. Toad Jul 19 #27

Well there ya have it, I guess I'm Gay BOSSHOG Jul 19 #29

Me too, brother. I wiped today.... guess that means we should have a drink together! Jack Valentino Jul 19 #47

Hey Jack, First rounds on me BOSSHOG Jul 20 #60

What??! Haha D_Master81 Jul 19 #31

Here's a source... nocoincidences Jul 19 #32

I wish I could understand what's supposed to be masculine about this. Aristus Jul 19 #33

Could explain part of 'the Trump smell'--- he thinks he's an 'alpha male' too.... Jack Valentino Jul 19 #49

My husband JustAnotherGen Jul 19 #34

Partners should immediately end it with anyone that has very strange practices like this. Renew Deal Jul 19 #36

Not sure how it could get any worse... but I don't disagree. Jack Valentino Jul 19 #50

One step away from dragging their butts across the carpet. Xavier Breath Jul 19 #37

LOL! Ocelot II Jul 19 #38

If wiping is now "gay", well I guess I am "flaming"!!!! WTF! Obviously spoken by guys who don't Jack Valentino Jul 19 #39

This message was self-deleted by its author PeaceWave Jul 19 #40

Redd knew. LudwigPastorius Jul 19 #46

I'm glad I'm not dating MustLoveBeagles Jul 19 #48

Does this go with Tucker Carlson and men tanning their balls? Norrrm Jul 19 #51

ok, now I'm confused. 🤔 mwmisses4289 Jul 20 #77

Manly men Norrrm Jul 20 #78

Manly men 2 Norrrm Jul 20 #79

Pea brained water spigots. JanMichael Jul 19 #53

The internet was a mistake. LS0999 Jul 20 #54

So many vulnerable young boys sucking into that rabbit hole NickB79 Jul 20 #63

Sooooooo. . .that line of "dude wipes" in the TP aisle (I wish I were kidding) is gay? niyad Jul 20 #55

Someone needs to inform these experimental hygienists that many other animals clean their butts with their own tongues 0rganism Jul 20 #56

I'm a personal hygiene fanatic. If I'm at the gym and need to blow my nose, I sanitize... 3catwoman3 Jul 20 #57

This reminds me of anarcho-primitivism. David__77 Jul 20 #58

How to KNOCK down an Alpha Male? ProudMNDemocrat Jul 20 #59

Is holding my dick to take a piss gay now too? NickB79 Jul 20 #62

And I thought being a woman was confusing! mwmisses4289 Jul 20 #82

It does seem like the logical conclusion BlueSpot Jul 20 #83

Nasty little boys become nasty men and incels. MineralMan Jul 20 #64

This message was self-deleted by its author PeaceWave Jul 20 #66

Speaking as a BoGardQuantum Zeta Male, BoRaGard Jul 20 #67

Women are sleeping with men who don't wipe their ass? Iggo Jul 20 #68

No wonder they're incels. Ocelot II Jul 20 #81

I keep trying to give them the cheat code. Iggo Jul 21 #86

To be perfectly honest, taxi Jul 20 #70

I very much doubt this is a widely shared opinion. BlueTsunami2018 Jul 20 #71

This message was self-deleted by its author PeaceWave Jul 20 #73

Bears use Charmin tissue. So I'm told. oasis Jul 21 #85

I say let them make themselves unfuckable, neck beards and all. Let them become incels. . . . nt Bernardo de La Paz Jul 20 #80

One expression B.See Jul 21 #84