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tulipsandroses

(7,685 posts)

12. Not The Onion???

Reply to Coventina (Original post)

Sat Jul 19, 2025, 06:47 PM

Saturday

This is disgusting.
How did this become a thing?? But then again tucker told them to sun tan their balls so I guess....

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Highlight:

"Alpha Males" have officially lost the plot (Warning: Puke inducing) [View all] Coventina Saturday OP

But if women don't want to sleep with them it's because they're [insert gendered insult of your choice here.] Scrivener7 Saturday #1

If you're dating them, you've got 3 choices - Swipe right, swipe left or don't swipe at all. PeaceWave 18 hrs ago #72

Saw TV ad last night: Dude Wipes Attilatheblond Saturday #2

My daughter uses those. Ms. Toad Saturday #19

Perhaps if we had more "natural" diets, there wouldn't be as many poop stains. Intractable Saturday #3

I'm thinking they should smoke and drink a lot too.. Permanut Saturday #4

But animals do clean themselves with their own tongues. Ocelot II 14 hrs ago #75

Alpha males are such delicate flowers. unblock Saturday #5

Sneaky bastards too. They'll argue "If the shit don't fit, you must acquit." PeaceWave 18 hrs ago #69

I made the mistake of googling this. Ocelot II Saturday #6

I know, right? Coventina Saturday #8

I always made it a point to shave and shower and brush teeth before a date, Jack Valentino Saturday #41

You weren't kidding about the EWWW thing! Ars Longa 14 hrs ago #76

I did after reading your post Renew Deal Saturday #35

I wonder if they even use toilets anymore - do they just squat anywhere outside? mdbl 14 hrs ago #74

So "alpha males" use a bidet instead? DBoon Saturday #7

Unfortunately, no. Coventina Saturday #9

They don't use anything. Ocelot II Saturday #11

But aren't alot of them into anal sex? -nt CrispyQ Saturday #30

They are obviously very insecure about their own masculinity.... Jack Valentino Saturday #42

I think it's partially a problem of obesity Metaphorical Saturday #10

Obesity has nothing to do with it, neither does their sense of smell. Ocelot II Saturday #15

Not The Onion??? tulipsandroses Saturday #12

I wish I could un-read this. flvegan Saturday #13

I'm so sorry. One of women who dumped (no pun intended) her poopy boyfriend Coventina Saturday #16

Oh no, MuseRider Saturday #28

So the reason some magats can't get laid, maybe more reasons besides their Jack Valentino Saturday #43

Human race is doomed angrychair Saturday #14

It's not just American alpha males. Ocelot II Saturday #17

I'm guessing this demo overlaps with people who are obsessed over seed oils in their food newdeal2 Saturday #18

I think it definitely overlaps with some MAGA... Jack Valentino Saturday #44

And carnivore diets NickB79 Yesterday #61

Yes, I think I was thinking of paleo diets or whatever it is called now. All meat newdeal2 23 hrs ago #65

If someone has to tell the world he's an alpha male... Dulcinea Saturday #20

They don't smell like butt, they smell like SHIT! Jack Valentino Saturday #45

This could be good for overpopulation fujiyamasan Saturday #21

Well at least you can lay on your bed without worrying about unfortunate stains EdmondDantes_ Saturday #22

Proctophobia? GaYellowDawg Saturday #23

I read about this recently and was going to post about it JI7 Saturday #24

Oh my! UpInArms Saturday #52

Real men don't worry a lot about what others' definition of a man is... Wounded Bear Saturday #25

Prostate orgasm nocoincidences Saturday #26

This sounds like the left's counter to the right's nonsense Ms. Toad Saturday #27

Well there ya have it, I guess I'm Gay BOSSHOG Saturday #29

Me too, brother. I wiped today.... guess that means we should have a drink together! Jack Valentino Saturday #47

Hey Jack, First rounds on me BOSSHOG Yesterday #60

What??! Haha D_Master81 Saturday #31

Here's a source... nocoincidences Saturday #32

I wish I could understand what's supposed to be masculine about this. Aristus Saturday #33

Could explain part of 'the Trump smell'--- he thinks he's an 'alpha male' too.... Jack Valentino Saturday #49

My husband JustAnotherGen Saturday #34

Partners should immediately end it with anyone that has very strange practices like this. Renew Deal Saturday #36

Not sure how it could get any worse... but I don't disagree. Jack Valentino Saturday #50

One step away from dragging their butts across the carpet. Xavier Breath Saturday #37

LOL! Ocelot II Saturday #38

If wiping is now "gay", well I guess I am "flaming"!!!! WTF! Obviously spoken by guys who don't Jack Valentino Saturday #39

This message was self-deleted by its author PeaceWave Saturday #40

Redd knew. LudwigPastorius Saturday #46

I'm glad I'm not dating MustLoveBeagles Saturday #48

Does this go with Tucker Carlson and men tanning their balls? Norrrm Saturday #51

ok, now I'm confused. 🤔 mwmisses4289 13 hrs ago #77

Manly men Norrrm 13 hrs ago #78

Manly men 2 Norrrm 13 hrs ago #79

Pea brained water spigots. JanMichael Saturday #53

The internet was a mistake. LS0999 Yesterday #54

So many vulnerable young boys sucking into that rabbit hole NickB79 Yesterday #63

Sooooooo. . .that line of "dude wipes" in the TP aisle (I wish I were kidding) is gay? niyad Yesterday #55

Someone needs to inform these experimental hygienists that many other animals clean their butts with their own tongues 0rganism Yesterday #56

I'm a personal hygiene fanatic. If I'm at the gym and need to blow my nose, I sanitize... 3catwoman3 Yesterday #57

This reminds me of anarcho-primitivism. David__77 Yesterday #58

How to KNOCK down an Alpha Male? ProudMNDemocrat Yesterday #59

Is holding my dick to take a piss gay now too? NickB79 Yesterday #62

And I thought being a woman was confusing! mwmisses4289 13 hrs ago #82

It does seem like the logical conclusion BlueSpot 12 hrs ago #83

Nasty little boys become nasty men and incels. MineralMan Yesterday #64

Wow. And until now I thought the only choice was up and down or circular motion. PeaceWave 19 hrs ago #66

Speaking as a BoGardQuantum Zeta Male, BoRaGard 19 hrs ago #67

Women are sleeping with men who don't wipe their ass? Iggo 19 hrs ago #68

No wonder they're incels. Ocelot II 13 hrs ago #81

To be perfectly honest, taxi 18 hrs ago #70

I very much doubt this is a widely shared opinion. BlueTsunami2018 18 hrs ago #71

This finally explains the preference for bears over men in the woods... PeaceWave 18 hrs ago #73

Bears use Charmin tissue. So I'm told. oasis 11 hrs ago #85

I say let them make themselves unfuckable, neck beards and all. Let them become incels. . . . nt Bernardo de La Paz 13 hrs ago #80

One expression B.See 11 hrs ago #84